Key to Success… “Be Coachable”
As the saying goes “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.” Perhaps you can coach a horse to take one step at a time and eventually teach them to take a sip on their own. I’m no horse trainer, but some of the best trainers have found ways to train horses to drink water… humanely. (Feel free to research this in your spare time… really interesting stuff.) Similar to horses, there are very FEW people who CANNOT be coached.
The key to coaching is to help people do the things THEY want to do, not the other way around. Therefore, if you are connected to an individual because you want them to help you reach your desired goal you ought to ask yourself if you will trust this person to get you there or not. If the answer is no, then stop reading and find a mentor or coach you trust. If the answer is yes, then you’ll want to make the most out of your connection and career journey.
In a practical sense, what does it mean to be coachable? The widely accepted definition of coachable depicts a person who is willing to take constructive feedback for the sake of improving a skill or any other area of their life.
Naturally, when we are presented with negative feedback, our ego tries to protect us from hurt feelings. A voice pops up in our mind that says “He doesn’t know what he’s talking about”, or “Don’t listen to that nonsense. You’re perfect!” For a short period of time, you feel better. In the long run, this voice keeps lurking in the back of your mind and keeps you from learning valuable lessons from people offering wise counsel.
My inner voice sometimes tells me, “I know this already” or “I could be teaching this class myself”, depending on the topic. This little voice intrudes every now and then when someone is trying to teach me a subject that they proclaim to know well. So first, I assess the situation. For some good reason, I allowed this person to teach me a lesson. Something told me that I could learn from this person. Then, when I remember what my mentor suggests, “become aware of the things you don’t know that you don’t know”, my ego takes the backseat so that I can listen clearly.
Do you know the best part about being human (as opposed to being a horse)? It’s having the ability to tap into your self-awareness. Your ability to lower the volume on that voice so that you can LISTEN UP long enough to learn something new. New information is the greatest gift to anyone who desires to continuously improve their life. Whether you like it or not, you have to be coachable if you plan to practice anything through mastery. So open your ears more, don’t just hear the advice… Listen.
Here are five steps to guide you to improved coachability
- Have a safe and stable environment to channel your best learning
- Have the willingness to be wrong in order to learn things about yourself that you did not know
- Have faith that the coaching process will lead you to a better you
- Start with a baseline understanding of your strengths and limitations, and ask great questions for more understanding when offered feedback
- Build the relentless ability to get out of your own way
If you’ve read this far, then maybe you know the importance of being coachable and you’re aware of your personal shortcomings. You have probably mastered a level of success in your life or at least you want to. Are you aware of your most valuable strengths or do you need a little help in that area to get really clear on what you want to do next to reach your life goals? Talking this through with a coach or mentor can really help you get clarity.
As important as it is for you to be coachable, it is just as important for you to find the right coach. So, here are a few tips that you can take into your next coaching relationship.
- Find the person that you trust and who has your best interests at heart.
- Has your coach achieved what it is that you want to achieve?
- Does your coach strive to understand who you are at the core?
- Is there willingness and vulnerability on both sides? Run if your coach is not willing to share their story.
- Ensure your coach has the time necessary to dedicate to you and sticks to your commitments.
Remember, having trust in the coaching process is paramount for you to reach your highest potential. Some people are coached to the point of exhaustion, simply to find that hidden treasure at the last milestone. Some experience enlightenment halfway through the journey. To get to the treasure both coach and client must be partners in the process.
